I debated whether to go funny or serious for this first real installment of the Single Girl Chronicles and finally landed on funny, because who doesn’t love a good story about me acting like a goof? If you’re new here, check out my introduction to this series of posts right over here. Otherwise, get comfy and prepare to giggle a bit.
I should start by saying, I’ve been moaning about how I didn’t think I was old enough to need to try online dating for….a while. I would joke about my singleness and then turn to Leah and say I’m not desperate enough for online dating yet, right??! Is it that bad?!?! And she would assure me that no, I didn’t have to try online dating….but I could, if I wanted. I continued to avoid the idea but then one day in June I decided, why the hell not.
So, I signed up for the free dating site, OKCupid. It’s your standard dating site, upload a few pictures, write a little bio about yourself, answer some standard questions (do you smoke, how tall are you, etc.) Then, there are hundreds and hundreds (probably thousands) of random questions you can answer if you’d like. Things as simple and frivolous as What would you rather be doing on a Friday night? or as serious as Do you think homosexuality is a sin?
These questions were my downfall. When you view someone’s profile you also get to view their answers to the questions you’ve both answered. Which means you can fall down a rabbit hole and find out really bizarre information about someone.
I mean, do I really need to know how often a guy bathes or showers right away? Or how important it is to them that we be able to have philosophical conversations together? All interesting things to know, for sure, but it is so much information up front that a semi-judgemental person (like myself…..) might make a decision about what type of person this guy is based on questions from a website. And that doesn’t seem fair.
All that to say, it took me a while to finally answer a guy’s message and decide to get drinks with him. I was very, very nervous. Nervous isn’t even the word, I had worked myself into a real tizzy about the whole situation. I told my friends about it right before I headed to the bar for drinks–you know, incase of a kidnapping.
And then I arrived early. The number one most flustering thing for me on these dates is having to walk into a restaurant and locate a person I’ve never met before. The initial uhh, hi! Are you so-and-so? I’m Emily! Nice to meet you! Do you hug? Do you shake hands? Do you wave? It’s awful.
Since this was my first encounter with the whole thing, I arrived early and decided to just hang out on the corner across from the bar. I had a few minutes to kill and really didn’t want to get there first.
So there I am, just facing an abandoned building and texting Leah frantically about how I was definitely, 100% going to throw up (spoiler alert, I didn’t). And the next thing I know….I see the guy I’m supposed to be meeting walking towards me.
Let’s all take a minute to think about how a normal person would handle this situation. I’m going to guess that most of you would have made eye contact and greeted him. That is probably the normal thing to do. Instead, I turned even further towards the brick wall I was standing at and let him walk right past me. Because I am awkward. And there is no chance he wouldn’t have seen me, no chance.
After essentially spying on him as he walked into the bar, I finally entered and went through the awkward greeting. It wasn’t too bad. He looked like his picture (although to be honest, those were clearly REALLY good pictures of him) and didn’t seem like a serial killer.
Another side note, most people that read this probably know that I hate most beer. I hated all beer until about a year ago and I’m slowly trying to widen my horizons because liquor is expensive and gets you drunk too quickly.
The waitress came and handed us a drink menu. At this point I was still so nervous that everything was happening in a really fast blur. I glanced at the menu and realized we were definitely at a hipster bar and I didn’t recognize one single thing on the menu.
So, I did the logical thing and picked the first drink I saw. Which turned out to be the world’s darkest beer. We’re talking, darker than black coffee. And thick. And like nothing I had ever drank before.
But! I was a trooper and I drank the whole thing, plus one more. Turns out it was a very potent beer because I’d been way too nervous to eat before this meeting and by the time I got up to leave the beer hit me hard. Oops.
The date went fine, he was nice, we had a lot in common. But there wasn’t really any “spark.” Ugh, that is the worst phrase ever, isn’t it? But I can’t think of a better way to describe it. It just felt kind of, blah. We texted for a few days after but eventually just stopped speaking (the awkward way you “end” these online dating exchanges is a whole other post in and of itself.)
But all in all, aside from slightly stalking and drinking gross, potent beer, it went well! I had survived! And a certain adrenaline rush comes from meeting new people and trying new things, so I was happy with the way it had gone. A little nervous to try it again, but not totally against it.
Until next time!